Wedding Invitations

It’s the subject we get asked about the most - so here’s a few things to remember when you start thinking about preparing the wedding invitations.

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When to Compile your Guest List

It's best to start on the guest list at least 9 months before the wedding if you can. Your invitations will, ideally, need to be sent out 6 to 8 weeks before the wedding, so you'll have ample time to prepare! If you are opting for hand-made stationery, as many couples are now doing, you may need to give your designer up to 12 months notice.

Traditionally the list is drawn up by the Bride's parents, assuming they are hosting, and the final say goes to them. But these days it's not uncommon for the Bride and Groom and both sets of parents to work on the list together. This is especially important if the groom's parents are helping to bear the cost

If you're getting married during the Summer holiday period, or if you're getting married abroad, let people know the date as soon as it's decided, even if it's six months ahead. You could always send informal save-the-date cards, with formal invitations later.

Who to invite?

Most weddings are family occasions, and you'll probably want to start your list with the obvious people: parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. Then there are the close friends and colleagues of the bride and groom, as well as close friends of the bride and groom's parents.

If there is someone you would like to attend your wedding but can’t make it – perhaps they live abroad or are elderly – it’s a good idea to send an invite anyway as it shows that you have thought about them!

You should also send invitations to the best man, the bride's attendants, the groom's parents and the church minister, although not the registrar in the case of civil ceremonies.

You may find that some people will be unable to accept, so be prepared with a reserve list. But be sure to allow enough time for invitations and replies, otherwise those who receive these second-wave invitations may feel they are last-minute substitutes.

‘B-List’ Invitations

Damask Print Invitation - Red/Gold

You can, of course, invite people to the reception rather than to the wedding ceremony itself. This

 has become known as the B-List – though the term shouldn’t be taken to mean you think less of these guests.

Perhaps you want a small and personal gathering or, maybe, your church or register office simply isn't big enough for everyone - whatever the reason, it's perfectly acceptable to invite people only to the reception and some people prefer to just attend the evening do anyway.

Just remember that your guests will want to know where you would like them to be, at what time, and what to expect when they get there! Try to let people know what sort of evening to expect. Formal or informal? Buffet or sit-down meal? Will there be dancing?  A brief reference on the evening invitation to any of these features will suffice.

The evening invitations should go out at the same time as the wedding invitations, firstly to give guests plenty of notice and also to avoid any confusion about who's being invited to which part of the celebrations.

Inviting Children

If you decide to invite children, they should be included on the invitation. If you don’t want to invite children it’s usually easier to invite the parents specifically by name. Some parents will still ask so; have an answer prepared in advance.

If you do invite children you can keep disruption to a minimum by seating children with their parents at the back of the church or marriage room so they can be taken out if they become noisy or restless. Consider hiring an entertainer or a crèche facility to keep them amused during the reception and order plenty of soft drinks.

Inviting Guests' Partners 

Whether to invite the unmarried partners of your guests can be a complicated question, but again it's your choice. Long-term partnerships are not uncommon these days; but if it's a new or short-term relationship, you might feel the friendship doesn't really merit a place for the partner, especially if you are looking to keep the numbers down. Whatever you decide, make it clear on the invitation and invite the partner by name.

Who should send the invitations?

As a matter of etiquette, the host sends. So if the bride's parents are hosting and bearing the cost of the wedding, it's they who should send the invitations and receive the replies. If the bride and groom are hosting and paying for their own wedding, it's fine for them to send the invitations and receive the replies.

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