It used to be that stag dos were notoriously wild and raucous affairs whilst the hen party just involved a couple of drinks with girlfriends over a chick flick. However hen parties have become just as wild over the years with hens proving that they can be as badly behaved as the stags!
Yet whilst a hen may have a male stripper, she is unlikely to venture into a lap-dancing bar or go along to watch naked men writhing around a pole.
And when you read celebrity reports of cheating men on their stag dos, it’s no wonder that the bride-to-be feels apprehensive about what her partner may get up to on his stag do! Visions of cavorting naked females, drink, drugs and perhaps the odd goat may be floating around your head, but just hold that thought.
Your partner’s stag do is hardly likely to be based on film and TV versions of stag dos. The film ‘Hangover’ was just that, a film. The reality is much more subdued and may I suggest, even boring! Most stag dos I know about have consisted of men getting very very drunk, talking a lot of nonsense about football and how much they love each other before being sick in the gutter. Hardly nights of debauchery!
Yet that doesn’t stop you worrying, so here is some slightly better advice on how to deal with his stag do.
His friends are important to him and were there before you got together as a couple, so it’s important that he spends time with them just as it’s important that you keep your close circle of friends. If you demonstrate that you trust and respect him then he’s more likely to behave.
Let him know what your hen party plans are and ask him to get involved in suggesting ideas and places to go. He’s then more likely to open up to you and even ask your advice on stag party ideas. This way you get to know what his plans are and can reassure yourself that he’s not planning a weekend to Amsterdam.
Explain your fears to him and reassure him that you trust him, hopefully he’ll be able to reassure you that the fishing trip is just that, nothing more. Explain what you would and wouldn’t be comfortable with. Setting your threshold is important and he should respect that.
Make Friends Not Enemies
If you don’t normally have much to do with his friends and these are the ones organising his stag do, then you might want to take the time to get to know them. Ask your partner if you can come along next time he arranges a night out with them.
Once you get to know them you may find they are all a charming bunch whose idea of a wild night out is putting money in the quiz machine. As you’re planning to be spending the rest of your life with this man, meeting his friends isn’t such a bad idea, if only to reassure them that you won’t be taking their mate away for good.
The Night of the Stag Do
If you haven’t arranged joint dates for both your stag and hen parties then for heaven’s sake arrange a night out with your friends on his stag do. The worst thing you can do is sit in front of the telly wondering where he is and why he isn’t answering your texts. Leave him be and organise something to do yourself to take your mind off it. Don’t wait up for him and don’t set any time limits – just leave a mattress for him at the bottom of the stairs!
Remember, you’ve had your chance to let your hair down and it’s only fair he has his. Yes he may at some point ogle some half naked stripper or pole dancer, but it’s you he’s chosen to marry, not them. And it’s you he’ll come home to.