Wedding Planning Forums & Communities

Chat rooms, Communities, call them what you will. A lions den or a source of useful advice? I've had a look and the results were surprising!

First, the good news. If your planning to get married there are a wealth of websites to help you plan the perfect day.

One of the more popular features of many of these sites is the wedding forum, chat room or wedding community. Here you can share your worries and ask advice amongst a group of liked-minded brides2b. Some of these communities are excellent; not only can you ask for advice about your wedding colours or table decorations, you can also ask anything that's on your mind.

Some of the more obscure posts I came across included such topics as 'how to reclaim bank charges?'; 'how do you determine who owns your garden fence?'; and 'how long does it take to cycle four miles?' - to name but a few. Of course, some topics can get a bit salacious, but you can use your imagination here.

Each forum has it's own personality, some have a regular group of contributors and the banter is quite jovial, while others are a bit more formal with people dropping in and out at irregular intervals.

The main sites are supervised by people known as moderators - their role is to keep a watching brief and to make sure that things don't get out of hand. Sometimes they are employed by the web site directly and also they can be fellow brides who have been particularly helpful or knowledgeable and have been invited to moderate or monitor the chat while on-line.

So are they any good?

Yes, on the whole, they are an excellent facility and means of support for bride-to-be at one of the most demanding times in her life. You only get one shot at the perfect day so the more help the better!

Which are the main sites?

The list grows daily but my top 5 are:

WeddingChaos

The top site with lots of individual topics and discussions. It's very well supervised with separate areas set up for wedding professionals. One for the advanced user, perhaps, but otherwise it's difficult to fault.

Hitched

One of the most used sites out there. The design looks a little dated but simple to use and navigate your way through. Perhaps not as well supervised as some but worth a look nonetheless!

Asiana

As the name suggests this is aimed at the Asian bride in the UK. Good design and easy to use. Lots of chat and discussion here.

Confetti

I expected Confetti to be more active but the depth and breadth of topics kept me interested. Not the most lively forum out there but I liked it and found it easy to use.

You started saying 'First, the good news' - so is there a bad side?

Yes there is. Just like any chat site there are people who have an ulterior motive - you need to be on your guard. There are a few members on every site who are 'in the business' so to speak - on the whole that's fine, I do it myself to keep up with trends, which suppliers are being recommended and so on. I don't pretend to be a fellow bride and if I have an interest in recommending a certain supplier I make it clear at the time.

What you need to be careful of is certain people who will jump in at every opportunity to plug their own services or put doubts in your mind if you mention a competitor. After a while you will spot these people quite easily and deal appropriately.

Don't let this put you off though, as with most things in life, a few people will spoil it for the majority but if you take a few precautions when going on line then you will certainly benefit. The tips below may seem obvious but it's alarming to find that many users of forums and chat rooms are not following these basic rules:

Do not use your own name or a nickname that identifies you easily - if you are like me and talk first and think second, then, firstly, you might a get bit of grief from the other members and, more importantly, Google crawls the net continuously and those comments you made about what you did on Saturday night will get indexed fairly quickly. Anyone searching ('Googling') your name will get all your intimate details on the first and second page of the results!

Don't give your correct date of birth - a lot of forums will ask for your date of birth so they can announce when it's your birthday - give something near the date if you want, but your date of birth identifies you easily amongst friends & family. Also, the date and location of your wedding is something you should try not to be too exact about.

Don't publish your email address or link to your Wedding Website - It's not just Google that crawls the net; there are all manner of malicious programs out there searching for this kind of information! You can use the Private Message (PM) facility within the forum to reveal your personal details to another member when you are confident they are genuine - if in doubt - don't risk it. 

Overall, the growth of the forum phenomena has been a boon for the bride-to-be. Good advice and honest opinion are hard to come by when you are planning your wedding day. Friends and family obviously offer the most support - but they will tend to tell you what you want to hear.

So long as you are willing to accept a little honesty, you will get a range of advice from people in the same position - some of whom will be further advanced at the planning stage and will be able to pass on their newly gained knowledge to their forum family.

Please remember the points raised about staying safe on-line and, above all, enjoy the experience and make new friends along the way!  

Useful Links: Get Safe Online | Microsoft Tips for Safer Chatting | 5 Safety Tips for using a public computer |Stay Safe Online | Think U Know