The Royal Wedding – Who Cares?

A novelty sick-bag featuring Princes William and Kate MiddletonAre you fed up of hearing about the Royal Wedding already? Do you wish you could reach for the sick bag every time you see yet another piece of Royal Wedding memorabilia advertised in the Sunday papers?

One Graphic Designer, Lydia Leith, may have unwittingly tapped into the mood of the nation when she launched her range of ‘Royal Wedding Sick Bags’ as a joke – orders for the novelty sick bags soon rocketed!

Whilst many people may be grateful for the April bank holiday, it seems they are less excited by the reasons for the extra time off work. A recent survey of 1,006 British adults discovered that 31% said they “couldn’t care less” about the wedding and 28% were “largely indifferent”. Perhaps us Britons simply aren’t as patriotic or royalist as we once were.

However there is one group of people who care very much about the Royal Wedding and those are the many couples who find themselves sharing their big day with William and Kate.

Just imagine, you’ve booked the cheaper day of Friday, you’ve checked all the football matches to make sure there are no clashes, you’ve checked with friends and family to find out if that date is free before you finally book it and start making your preparations. Then without warning, Prince William and Kate Middleton announce they would be getting married on the same day!

The comparisons don’t bear thinking about, I mean, who can compete with getting married in Westminster Abbey and having one of the UK’s top designers making your dress?

So if you are dreading the comparisons to the future King of England’s bride and are worried that your guests would rather join a national celebration than attend your low-key wedding; then read on and thank your lucky stars that you are not Kate Middleton.

So who’d want a Royal wedding anyway?

  • It’s bad enough walking up the aisle to the stares of friends and family, let alone the entire world’s media scrutinising your every move. Just imagine if a bridesmaid were to trip on her train or she were to faint – she’d never live it down! Any mistakes or embarrassments would haunt her for the rest of her life.
  • Whatever people may think of your wedding dress, you’d only get to hear the positives whereas Kate Middleton’s wedding dress will be scrutinised and criticised in every national newspaper. Whatever choice she makes, it won’t be the right one for some people.
  • You can choose who attends your wedding and who doesn’t. Kate and William are obliged to invite foreign dignitaries they’ve never even met as well as a load of stuffy old politicians who can barely muster a smile between them.
  • Everyone has at least one relative who is gaffe-prone and likely to cause a scene. Poor Kate and William have to make do with three! The Duke of Edinburgh, Prince Harry AND Prince Andrew! I hope for her sake there are no skeletons in her closet awaiting their turn…
  • No pie and chips for this Royal Wedding, the atmosphere will be about as relaxed and laid back as a visit to the dentist. Poor Wills and Kate have to adhere to protocol and regulations – so no getting drunk and showing off the garter for Kate!
  • The wedding speeches will be a nightmare. Prince William has chosen his brother Harry, to be his best man but given that Harry seems to have inherited Prince Philip’s charm, this is one speech that will have to be edited heavily! And with so many dignitaries to thank, these speeches could go on for some time….

So don’t despair if you’ve double booked your wedding date with the Royal couple. Most people will be so fed up of royal wedding fever by then that your guests will be glad of the distraction, and because that weekend will now be an official bank holiday, there can be no excuses for guests to cry off due to work commitments.

After all, they can hardly go anywhere else; travel agents up and down the country are reporting a huge surge in bookings for the bonus April bank holiday. It seems that the Royal Wedding has prompted a surge in foreign holiday bookings, so prepare to pay much more for the priviledge of getting as far away from the Royal Wedding mania as possible. Which in turn is bad news for those taking their honeymoons at the same time.

Well, you can’t have it all your own way you know!

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  1. Anonymous says:

    Who – cares? Pre-nup for 2/3 kids then divorce…..

  2. I care because I’m a double!

  3. No i could’nt give a damm!!! time to send his grandfather back to Greece, ask the Germans if they want the Queen as she comes from a Germanic bloodline, better still ! with all the debt we are in sell them on EBAY!! Perhaps the Yanks would buy them, they have always been jealous of us, yeah! let them keep the parasites

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