Post-Wedding Depression

Avoiding the wedding blues after you are married

You’ve spent up to two years planning your big day, not to mention a small fortune – now the wedding day is over you are bound to feel a little deflated. The wedding blues, post-nuptial depression, call it what you will – post wedding depression is a real event for many brides these days.

Counselling?

Research in the US has highlighted the problem with the revelation that up to one in ten new brides suffer depression to such a level that they seek professional counselling. It’s not unrealistic to assume a proportion of new brides in the UK are suffering in a similar manner?

We can all relate to that deflated feeling one experiences the day after a great party or on returning from holiday so it’s not surprising that the biggest day of your life is going to be a hard act to follow once the wedding cake has been despatched and you and your new husband settle down to normal life together.

Celebrity Culture

The growth of celebrity culture and the pressure on brides to wed in ever increasing splendour has meant that the probability of suffering some form of post wedding depression has become much more likely than was the case when our parents married.

We in the wedding industry also have to take some of the blame; here at the fizz we have always tried to focus upon the value aspect of wedding planning but must accept that the wedding industry, as a whole, is vey much geared towards encouraging brides to spend more and more money each year in order to have the ‘perfect’ wedding.

It’s understandable, therefore, that some brides will feel a little let-down at the end of the wedding planning journey.

Avoiding the Post Wedding Blues

So, this accepted, can we really avoid getting that deflated feeling or is just part of life’s rich tapestry. Not being qualified to give medical or physiological advice we can’t claim to have any magic answers. However, a measure of reality and god old common sense may be in order?

Avoiding the post nuptial blues, for many, will be akin to avoiding bad weather, in other words, it’s going to be inevitable so just accept it. You know when you go on holiday that your first day back at work will be a bit of downer – the feelings are similar after the wedding is over. What goes up must come down eventually – once you accept this the easier it is to understand that the way you feel is completely natural.

Be realistic – your wedding day should be the best day of your life and probably will be – but look upon it as the beginning of your marriage rather than a climax to the time you’ve spent planning it.

Ignore traditional expectations about the wedding night and your honeymoon – you’ve probably already lived together as a couple for some time before and done it ‘every which way’ a thousands times over. It’s perfectly normal to feel ‘too knackered for nookie’ on the wedding night and honeymoon. Your bodies need time to de-stress and return to normal after all that planning and partying. Use the time to relax and come back down to earth gently – dismiss any notion that there is something wrong – there isn’t.

Plan another holiday or short break for a few months after you’ve returned to work – it will lessen the sense of the let-down and give you something to look forward to.

Forget the wedding frippery – most importantly, get rid of all the wedding magazines, clear the wedding sites from your favourites folder and don’t spend your time on wedding forums as a ‘new bride’ either. You are married now – get on with it and have a great life together.

Have fun – being married is going to be an experience that takes some getting used to, even if you have lived together before, things do look slightly different afterwards. Overall, it’s only natural with any new experience that some adjustment will be necessary. However, try to remember what you got married for in the first place, relax and, now you’ve had some time to re-charge your batteries, have some, erm, fun!