Wedding Advice - Attendants

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Attendants - Bridesmaids, Best Man, etc

I asked a friend one night to be my maid of honour but I am regretting my decision. We never seem to be in contact and whenever my hen do is brought up she says she's got it covered & it's none of my business.

I'm wondering whether to ask my oldest friend or a friend who lives miles away but I am close to. Please help as this is driving me mad?

This is a difficult one! Can you remember why you asked her to be your maid of honour? This might help you with figuring out why she is acting like she is. Your hen night is normally left down to the maid of honour or chief bridesmaid as a surprise, but it wouldn’t hurt for her to tell you a little bit about it, purely if just to put your mind at rest.

It sounds as if you don’t have much confidence in her which is the last thing you need to worry about when planning your wedding. I would have a chat with her and tell her your concerns. If she is funny with you then just tell her that it is perhaps not a good idea for her to be maid of honour any more as you need someone who has more time to help you with arrangements, then ask your other friend.

With regards to distance, I don’t see it as a problem that your other friend is a long way away as a lot of plans can be arranged over the phone or by e-mail, and at least you will not be worrying about it, which is the main thing.

Good luck with this one. It’s not an easy thing to do, but when you’ve sorted it all out you’ll feel a lot better and relieved.

I’m getting married next year and have chosen two bridesmaids. One of the girls is a very close friend from school who has been a tower of support through the early planning stages.

The other friend I see more frequently socially, but am now regretting asking her to be a bridesmaid. She hardly ever asks how things are going and doesn’t seem at all keen. Is there any way out of this now?

On one hand you can say well, it’s my wedding and I’ll have it how I like and tell her she is no longer a bridesmaid. This will obviously cause a huge amount of upset and arguing. Do you have any idea why she isn’t showing an interest? Is she jealous or had any altercations with your other bridesmaid? Does your fiancé have any idea what could be the problem?

The best thing to do is sit down with her and explain you are concerned she is not happy about being one of your bridesmaids and you would not be offended if she decided she no longer wanted to be one. This gives her the option of backing out too. If she says she still does want to be your bridesmaid, then explain to her how you’re feeling and that you’ve noticed she isn’t taking much of an interest in your wedding. You might be able to get to the bottom of it this way. Maybe she feels that you and your other bridesmaid are closer and feels a little left out?

Good luck and I hope you manage to sort things out one way or another.

Who pays for the Best Man's suit?

If you can afford it then you (the Bride and Groom) should. He is doing you an honour by agreeing to be your Best Man, not visa versa! If your budget is tight then consider hiring the best mans' suit for the big day - as a percentage of the cost of your wedding, the expense is negligible!